


Innuendo

by bigbardafree



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbardafree/pseuds/bigbardafree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend posted a certain Cosmopolitan Magazine cover to twitter and this fic happened. Rated B for Bad Innuendo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Innuendo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [impassivetemerity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/impassivetemerity/gifts).



> Please look at this magazine cover to understand why this fic exists: http://40.media.tumblr.com/feedd56c601d87b93343bcbd08840e31/tumblr_inline_o36x9kzIai1qd6h8q_500.jpg

“You’re pulling my leg!” Han scoffed, looking at Lando over his hand of cards. A pretty bad hand, but he wasn’t going to let Lando know that.

“I’m just telling you what I was told, but my source is an old friend.” Lando didn’t look up from studying his hand, “One I trust more than you.”

Han leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, “You wound me! When have I ever been anything but a completely trustworthy and honest member of society?”

Lando finally looked up, just to raise an eyebrow at Han, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

Han leaned forward back to a normal sitting position, “Okay, okay. Continue.” “Thank you.” Lando pulled a card from the deck between them, adding it to his hand. “So these Jedi-“

“Stupid name.”

“- _apparently_ have been keeping order throughout the galaxy for years, working in the highest levels of governments on some pretty important planets.”

“I can’t believe you’re trying to get me to buy this conspiracy theory.”

“Hey, hey I’m not selling anything! Just telling a story.” Lando put one of his cards down on the table with a triumphant smile. Han frowned, grabbed another card from the deck, and took a swig of the drink next to him. 

“So you’re saying one group of fanatical weirdos has been running the galaxy? The whole galaxy? You know it’s a pretty big place.”

“I was told they can tap into some kind of energy called the Force and they can do all kinds of crazy stuff with it, like mind control-”  

“I’m gonna have to stop you again. Look.” Han put two cards down on the table. “You’re telling me they can control people’s minds and they named that power the Force? Just: the Force. That’s it?”

Lando had to admit that did sound pretty ridiculous. “Maybe they were too busy controlling people’s minds to come up with a cooler name.” Lando waited a beat to see if Han had anything to add. He didn’t. “Now can I continue?” Han nodded.

“So most of them use these powers for good but-“

“Wait something just occurred to me.”

Lando sighed, putting his cards face down on the table. Why did he put up with this guy? “What is it now?”

“Well, if these guys control the galaxy they must be packing a huge arsenal of weapons right?” Han smiled at his own stroke of genius. “You think they’d need someone to smuggle blasters for them?”

Lando rolled his eyes and picked up his drink. “Well if you’d let me talk,” He said, taking a sip, “You’d know that they don’t use blasters. They use another type of weapon. A type of laser sword-“

“Swords. They use swords?” Lando nodded. “Lightsabers.”

“Lightsabers.” Han chuckled, a little giddy, “They control the galaxy with laser swords and mind tricks?”

“That’s the story.” Lando conceded, smiling at Han’s reaction.

“Hey” Han motioned to Lando’s cards that were still on the table, “How about we make a deal. If you win this round I’ll light _your_ saber.” He ended the statement with a wink, biting his cheek to keep himself from laughing.

Lando picked up his hand and leaned in towards Han. “Alright. And if you win, I’ll show you the power of _my_ force.” He gave a mischievous smile, eyes twinkling.

Han met his gaze with a smirk. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually know much about Star Wars outside of the original trilogy and the force awakens so if I got anything wrong I apologize I'm a Fake Fan™. I have no idea what card game they were playing but I'm gonna call it Space Go Fish and yes Lando did win and got his dick sucked by Han Solo what a lucky guy. I hope you enjoyed... whatever that was.


End file.
